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Mary Who? Teddy Bear is staking his claim to wearing the pants for once

Stand down Mary, Teddy Bear is angry.

Ted, sporting his new pants he can now wear with or without Mary’s approval

One week after what could be considered his first victory since ink was introduced to paper without a calligraphy pen being dipped into a stone container, Ted Spanbauer had done it again. Now, more Don Sparks than Don Knotts in terms of sandbagging the handicap system, the octogenarianesque Spanbauer is making a claim to have the net portion of the ACC Men’s League named after himself. And who would argue?

And once again, Curt Gannon gets the notoriety shaft for shooting another 36 to win the gross total, the 1-over total coming after carding a birdie and two bogeys. Gannon was tied by lefty Brian “Eddie” Robbins, whose one birdie, two bogey round led to the KP on No. 4, rolling in a six-footer from above the hole.

Spanbauer at least had one competitor Tuesday night, with Rich Miller tying for low gross at 29.

A week after the what seemingly had every member on the deuce pot list, Casey Dee and Sparkey McLean were the lone 2s on the night.

But forget about everything mentioned above for a moment. Those feats all pale in comparison to that of the redemption story written by Irish Catholic percussionist Joe Strelnik.

A week after getting drubbed by the aforementioned Spanbauer – a brutal beating that will be fodder for years to come – Stelnik flipped the script and strapped his own nag to the whipping post this time around the sun. Some five-to-six years after getting kicked to the curb by former team captain Rich Potvin, Strelnik, never forgot. (Of course he didn’t, he’s still wearing tattered Yankees shit, telling the same old stories having not seen a postseason win for a decade). Strelnik, giving up 11 strokes of handicap, beat his annoying Kansas City Chiefs fan equal 45-44 straight up and by six shots net, casting shade on Potvin’s decision-making process. In actuality, the Yankee Chipper buried that bully with big, fluffy, fairway divots, beating that man as if he were wearing his kilt and marching in a St. Patricks Day parade.

Lorengo and Sons made the biggest team leap of the night, scoring 25 points closely followed by the 24 earned by Donivan’s, Copperhead Country and Dee Motors. Donivan’s is now out in front by half a point over Haufbrau/AOH, 67.5-67. Nearly half the league is within four points of the lead with three weeks to play.

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