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ACC Pro Shop falls back to field: ‘You’re Welcome’

After two weeks of building what was thought to be an insurmountable lead on the 18-team field, ACC Pro Shop added insult to injury following Week 3 of play in the ACC Men’s League.

The insult was delivered via a dented can of whoop ass by Copperhead Country, winning the matchup 21.5-18.5 and all but made the league competitive again. The injury? Spencer Parks was unable to compete, claiming a CrossFit #family injury rendered him unable to, eh hem, golf (that excuse is akin to a child not eating lunch because the peanut butter cut his tongue). Parks’ fitness goals ultimately threw a wrench into the continuity and cohesiveness of the team, putting their first half stranglehold on the league in jeopardy.

“You’re welcome,” was the Copperhead Country stance issued to the rest of the league following the round. No further commentary was necessary. Frank “Cowhead” Moreni, the Week 2 pot hogger, and Mark Hodges — who started birdie-birdie on Nos. 8-9 — did their best, but it wasn’t enough to hold up a guy who plays 18 holes total every three or four years (Mark Torney) and a loyal, funny and intelligent man who is probably fining me for dryer heat emissions as this recap is being drafted (Joe Ungaretti).

With all due respect, ACC Pro Shop is still comfortably ahead. But, in the interest of entertainment journalism (or lack thereof), that’s not nearly as newsworthy (CCM needs the clicks, y’all!).

Thompson’s Bar made the biggest leap of the evening, earning 25.5 points and vaulting into second now just 4.5 behind disgraced ACC Pro Shop. Sawyer Plumbing, Haufbrau/AOH and Donivan’s all squared their matches and are in third through fifth, respectively.

League newcomer Gary Funston took home low gross honors following his even par round with a birdie and bogey. Rusty Napier won low net with 30 after carding 39 with a steady six-par, two-bogey evening.

Robbie Dee, playing for the first time since his father didn’t make him work until 5:55 p.m. on Tuesday, hit his first approach shot to within three feet on No. 3 for KP honors. He would roll that in for birdie and join Hodges, Paul Johns and Scott Driscoll as Duece Pot winners.

Editors Note: Next week, a congratulatory parade of carts celebrating Copperhead Country will start at the clubhouse at 5:50 p.m. led by members of the team. Representatives want to ensure you follow social distancing measures and be safe now that you are all back in the hunt (well, the top six teams anyway).

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